The symbolism behind this is absolutely vital to why I chose a peacock. Peacocks, as many of us know, are symbols of beauty. However, when researching these creatures, you find out that when they call/make noise, it's not exactly the most appealing sound ever--it's quite an ugly sound in fact, compared to many other bird calls. Personally, I relate completely to the peacock in this sense. I've struggled verbally with expression for quite some time, and I'm still battling it. Rarely ever, or perhaps never, do I ever feel like I'm portraying how I feel to other people in a way they can relate or understand, and it's such a painful and ugly feeling knowing that no matter which order I place my words, my message to others is still gray matter. In some very dark situations, (when I have bad panic attacks and the like), it even physically hurts me to speak.

Because the peacock's voice is so ugly, it's message is carried visually. This is exactly how I hope to portray what it is I feel, think, want, believe--through visual expression, my artwork.

The male peacock is pictured here because those are the ones with the most exquisite, luxurious, colorful, and elaborate feather patterns.